Chapter II: On Madness

Part I: Theory of Mass Ludicrousness

I have formulated a rather simplistic theory which is still incomplete, officially unproven (even though the supporting evidence is as clear as day) and open to heavy criticisms and revisions. Nonetheless, allow me to state it as eloquently as I can:

"Because we're all different, we're all crazy"

I shall now back this theory with the following points. Firstly, everyone is different, sees the world differently and has different/unique perceptions. I mean, how do I know that the 'green' that I see is the same 'green' that you see? Is it not possible that that my 'red' is actually your 'green'? Even though ophthalmology has proven that the rods in our eyes (these weird, grass-like things that detect color) give off the same frequency to the nervous system in all human beings, what may still be uncertain is how we perceive those different frequencies.

Ok that just got even more retarded than this shitty blog ... anyways, just read on and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Now everyone speaks differently, understands things differently and everyone's mental processes are inherently different. Hence, there is no certain, definite standard to judge a person ... it's just impossible to make one. I mean, sure, there are lots of losers in this world and very few winners; but even they have indefinite degrees of differences which further makes it impossible to categorize a person into a 'type' of loser or winner. The critics to this point would be quick to point out that a loser is still a loser and a winner is a winner and categorizations doesn't change this fact. But what I'm saying here is that across varying contexts, time periods and societies, the definitions will change invariably.

Furthermore, every human being is indecisive, hypocritical of what they really 'feel' inside and weird in their own special way "relative" to everyone else. Hence, if people are considered "relative" to everyone else (and considering all the facts mentioned above), we discover that through relativity, we are all different. And these huge differences mean that we're "relatively" different. While a rational individual would not take these relativities into account, we, unfortunately, do not live in a rational or individualistic world. In fact, we pride ourselves in how we are distinct from each other, celebrating these differences not with smiles or gay, flowery expressions of joy, but through brute yet strategically thought-out conflicts, through killing and be killed. That is, in fact, what makes us happy. Our innate form of celebration.

And this is where perceptions come in again. Because we are all different, everyone else is different. We are unable to comprehend their actions, behaviors or cultures and hence, we dub them weird ... or, henceforth and otherwise, crazy (because in the present age of Enlightened Moderation, a person who is different has got to be crazy).

So there it is. I'd like to receive my Noble Prize now.


(DAVID: Dude, you're such a lame writer. That wasn't even funny! I mean I read that and at most places I actually had to force myself to smile! Honestly, only a retard would read this!)
(UMAIR: Hey, screw you, alright? It's 2 a.m. And I'm trying to make a point here.)
(DAVID: Yeah, that you're a shitty writer and should just go f ...)
(UMAIR: HEY! Look, we're all different, right? And different people are considered weird, hence crazy. If I think you're crazy because you wear a turban and are really conservative, at the same time, you'd be thinking I'm a retard for wearing clothes like jeans that let people see the shape of my balls.)
(DAVID: You have balls?)
(UMAIR: AHHHH! You know what? I don't care what it sounds like. The people who're meant to get it, will get it.)
(DAVID: I'm sure they will! [What a retard!])